Gracefully Written By – Sadia Anam Sindhi
Mostly Sane Simply Mundane
ADULTING is the delusional stage in one’s life accompanied by vulnerability where we go through the transition from a state where we show up and are seen at places with no guarantee of the outcomes to a state of partial awareness combined with the responsibility of the mundane but obligatory duties and tasks.
We know we are stepping in the unversed adulthood when the very thought of going home to our family, dog or even our bed excites us.
When the initial weight of the responsibilities, expectations, deadlines, conventions etc pushes the boundaries of carelessness, procrastination and comfort so far away, making the idea of touching them obsolete.
When we stop slaying the monsters in the world and finally meet the ones within ourselves, realising that the darkness out there is stems from the darkness in our hearts and to keep it at bay we need to do our work.
So far ADULTING hasn’t been my cup of tea.
My ability to remember lyrics from the theme song of Doraemon is far exceeding my ability to remember why I went into the general store.
I’m into such an age where I believe I’m 21, but my humour suggests I’m 16 while my body keeps on reassuring if I’m not dead inside already.
I can’t really decide if it’s fortune or unfortunate that I’m so steeped in privilege and any level of accountability seems like oppression to me.
In the transition from being protected from the world by my parents to getting worried about their health and future insurances and stepping out in the world to get things done, I came across life, just to realise that my parents were right all along.
There are days when I’m as good as the “G” in the lasagna but then there are moments when I’m the fix to the fall. In this transition when things fall apart, they do so for falling in place.
ADULTING is a difficult task, especially for a woman. Something I feel like I want to hit pause and reduce the difficulties, or just be able to decide if my body is the temple which is ancient and holy with life within, or it’s a crumbling church, cursed red and haunted.
Discovering oneself is inflexible but convivial.
Thanks for taking the time out and reading this.
With Love From – Sadia Anam Sindhi
It’s probably my age
that tricks people into thinking
I’m an adult.
I relate more to tangled earphones.
There are times
when I’m all sorts of stop and stare and my aesthetic is dope.
And then there are days
when my life is a series of
awkward, humiliating and
separated by snacks as
I lie on the couch ignore them all.
I slow down and sit down
in my own illusional world
with my own delusional thoughts
And in the spur of a moment
I overthink and over feel.
Sometimes I breathe, trust and
just let go,
But sometimes I have backups
for the backup plan.
On days I want to run away
from all the toxic people I have.
At midnight I long for the
Lucky for me I don’t have enough friends for an intervention,
But then I long for midnight house parties.
I really want to travel,
was born a hodophile,
But weeks go without me
being unexpectedly rich.
It comes with having different plans
even after one gets naked.
I’m trying to figure out
how to pay my bills
how to dress up
how to not enhance my sentence
with swear words.
how to behave in public
how to manage people
I hate and
how to love those I love.
Thanks to coffee,
And my grown-up manners.
Being a WOMAN in this tedious task of ADULTING, I’ve learnt some important rules to swear by.
1) CONSENT IS IMPORTANT
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Nobody can tell you your potential except you. A strong woman never gives up on herself even with heavy shoulders and broken faith. She keeps on going one step after the other.
2) WALK AWAY
In this transition from a teenager to an adult, you never stick around toxicity. Walk away from toxic people and relationship. Walk away from goals unachievable and unreasonable fights.
3) START OVER
We fail. We’re homosapiens after all. Never hesitate to start afresh. Every time you start again it isn’t from scratch but is from experiences.
4) DON’T AVOID CONFLICT
If their absence brings peace in your life, you didn’t lose them. So confront when you feel like. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. To keep the peace you may start a war, one within yourself.
5) OBSERVE DON’T ABSORB
Train your mind to keep your emotions in check and observe the actions you see. Don’t absorb the promises and words you listen.
6) BE TEACHABLE
You’re not right all the time. Let your mistakes be your teacher and the experiences of your lessons. The women you are becoming will cost you everything. CHOOSE HER over everything.
7) BE AWARE AND COMMUNICATE
If you never fit in, that’s the best quality you have. Be aware of the rare kind of woman you are. Stronger than the storms.
Always express yourself, communicate, even if it’s uneasy or excruciating.
8) IT’S HANDLED
Believe in GOD. Be true to your faith. Close your thought process and relationship turmoil for regular SPIRITUAL MAINTENANCE in short intervals. God will handle you and help you in troublesome times.
9) USE THE 21/90 RULE
It takes 21 days to build a habit and it takes 90 days to incorporate that acquired habit into the lifestyle. Develop and incorporate healthy habits like waking up early and exercising regularly.
10) WATCH OUT FOR TEA STAINS
Spilling the tea is a mandatory ritual when it comes to millennials or generation Z, but the spilt tea leaves stains. So be careful of where you spill the tea.
11) REMEMBER YOURSELF
The last but the most important thing is to remember yourself. Without your profession, your bank balance, your social status, your materialistic achievements. Remember your true self and never lose it, not even while ADULTING.
All the best for this amusing yet intricate transition and pretending to be normal when you’re going optimistically insane.